Weird News Wednesday

Hello, and welcome to this new feature on Tall Curly Biscuit! Every week I’ll feature weird, funny, or provocative news that we can all make fun of. Well, it probably won’t be provocative, but I like reading that word so I type it as much as possible.

If you have strange news, either from a media outlet or from a doctor explaining your very rare case of warts, please share with us. You can email me at ang(at)tallcurlybiscuit(dot)com, and we’ll all have a good laugh! If you email me with a link, please explain it with text in the email so I’ll know you’re not a spambot.

I love the newspaper, mainly because it’s easier to pick and choose what I read about, whereas it’s difficult to tune out to a disturbing television newscast once the volume is blaring. Also, reporters have to fill all those newspaper pages with something, so the stories can get obscure.

A couple of weeks ago, there was an article about a pair of lungs that washed up on a Caribbean beach. Most people probably wouldn’t recognize a pair of lungs if it hit ’em in the face, but a doctor found them so he knew. It was determined that the lungs were too large to be human, but the reporter stated that officials were still investigating the origin of the “rogue organs.” Commence making fun of the use of “rogue” to describe mysterious beached organs:

This organ has gone rogue.

Rogue organ….does this make anybody else laugh?

There is also controversy over a newly released book about Rick Perry. The authors of Inside the Circus claim that Perry was under the influence of powerful painkillers during the Republican primary debates. Perry endured back surgery right before he launched his campaign and then had to wear dress shoes on stage for hours at a time, so it makes sense that he might need painkillers. Once in Vegas I tried to drown out the pain of high heels by drinking whiskey; that didn’t work out so well for me. The throbbing never went away, and I just made a dribbling fool of myself if you can believe that. (Don’t believe it. It was much worse than that. Dribbling fool would have been a step up.)

Anyway, the article about the book controversy states, “The Perry camp has consistently denied that his erratic debate performances were the result of pain medication following his back surgery.” WHY??? Why are they denying that? If someone provides you a perfectly legitimate excuse for your spotty behavior and forgetfulness, why wouldn’t you take it? If he can’t blame his debate results on drugs, what does he blame them on?

If someone makes fun of me for my blog content and poor grammar, which will probably never happen ever, but if it does, I’m going to use this excuse: “I consistently exercised along with a very challenging yoga dvd, and as a result I was under the influence of powerful doses of ibuprofen.” That’s gonna be my justification. Oh, and this is a humor blog and not serious politics, so please understand that I’m simply pointing out that sometimes excuses can be nice even if they aren’t true, and you should jump at any chance to take them, especially if your options are “appear kinda dumb” or “blame it on somewhat legitimate painkiller usage.” Ha!

Last news item—
If for some crazy reason you aren’t following Tall Curly Biscuit on Facebook and Twitter and MISSED this link, here is a story about people in China eating eggs boiled in urine: Urine-soaked “virgin boy eggs” are a springtime taste treat in China This is for real!