V and the Bully Sticks

My friend emailed me today about her new puppy’s vet visit.  I was relieved it wasn’t a sad story, but it turned out to be sad for someone else.  Ahem.

The new puppy is doing well—fabulously, in fact, because V takes better care of her animals than anyone I know.  So when the vet advised “no more rawhides,” V went right out and bought another chew toy alternative that was still all-natural, but not rawhide.

Her two dogs went bat-shit bonkers over the new chew toys, and her husband asked what the heck they were made of.  Turns out, they are dried bull penises.  Let me type that again in case you didn’t believe it the first time: Dried bull penises.

I told you the story was sad for someone.  Poor dickless bulls. And it gets worse. Bully Sticks, as they’re called, are measured by thickness, I discovered.  The dickless bulls are probably dead now and posthumously judged on penis size—even “HAND MEASURED,” according to the diagram.

Anyway, V shooed the dogs outside as she told them in her high-pitched, talking-to-the-puppy-voice,”Absolutely no bull penises on the carpet!”

Because, as she said, you have to draw the line somewhere.