Is It Uncool to be Regular?

I just heard on Conan that Abercrombie and Fitch offered to pay The Situation from Jersey Shore to NOT wear their clothes.  I’ll wait until this news story is confirmed by The Onion before I give my full opinion, but in the mean time, I’ll admit that my son just tried to pay me to NOT walk him into his first day of middle school next week.  I wasn’t planning on walking him in anyway, but I may still take the ten bucks to compensate for the pain and suffering of being reminded of how uncool I am.

On a totally unrelated note (or is it?), today I bought massive amounts of All Bran crackers and Trident cinnamon gum.  I can only find these delicious, fiber-filled crackers at one store in my area, and I rarely go there.  Trident cinnamon can also be hard to come by, so naturally I had to stock up when I had a moment to stop in that grocery store this afternoon.

Delicious for your mouth and good for your intestines

My only purchases were six boxes of All Bran crackers and six packs of gum, and the very overweight cashier gave me a funny look.  I jokingly told her I was on an All Bran and gum diet, but I saw a spark in her eye—one that said, “Aha!  That’s the answer!”  So, when she looses 75 pounds and you hear about the All Bran and Trident diet on the Today Show, just remember that you heard it here first, folks.

Oh, and to add to my blog’s search engine optimization, now I’ll come up first if someone searches tall curly biscuit annals bran crackers cinnamon.  My plan is working.